When my parents come down to Utah to visit, my mom jokes about how they’re in the “big city” now. Up in Montana, they live 10-15 minutes from the closest restaurant, which is in a tiny town. If they want to have a few options for food, or to do shopping, they have to drive 30-45 minutes into the bigger towns. But even those bigger towns are small compared to the cities in Utah. Here, you can drive from Provo to Ogden on I-15 and not leave the city feel. Both sides of the highway are lined with store after store, restaurant after restaurant. It can be a little overwhelming to me at times (I’m a mountain girl at heart) but today I’m thankful that I live in an area that has so much to offer.

My parents and brothers drove up to Sandy today and we all went out to eat at Outback. On my 10 minute drive there I drove down State St, which is basically one long strip of stores and restaurants. If I need a sit down restaurant, fast food, groceries, shoes, clothes, art supplies, you name it, all I have to do is drive 10 minutes and I could get any of those. It’s a comforting feeling knowing that if I ever have an emergency and need something quickly, I can get it very easily. Although it has made me a little lazy, I’m grateful for having everything close by.

As is usual when my family gets together, this afternoon was full of playing board games. We played a couple rounds of a game call Betrayal of the House on the Hill. It’s a game about exploring a haunted house and the spooky things that happen. You start the game by moving your character around the house and flipping tiles to reveal the different rooms. You read cards and roll dice to create different actions that add mystery and challenges to the game. At some point in the game a dice roll will start something called the “haunt”. There are many different scenarios of what the haunt could be (determined by the room you’re in and what item you have when the haunt was started) but it usually involves someone’s character teaming up with a monster and betraying everyone else by trying to kill them. Although it’s a game that doesn’t take much skill, it’s a lot of fun. In the spirit of board games, and why I spent so much time explaining just one, I’m thankful today for the variety of board games that have been created.

My love of board games was instilled in my by my dad. He loves to play games and always wants to play when we’re together. I’m pretty sure every time I’ve seen him the past 5 years he’s had a new game for us to try. We play games a lot when we get together as a family, much to my mom’s frustration (she has a hard time playing them for hours on end), and it’s something that helps me connect with my dad so I love it. But how boring would it be if we played the same game over and over again? Or if every game had the same kind of cards, the same kind of actions you could take, and the same goal at the end of the game? I would’ve gotten tired of playing games before I’d started high school! It’s really cool to me that there are so many different concepts put into games. They have different goals, actions, themes, cards, pieces, etc. Of course there are similar overlying aspects of games, but I love that there are hundreds of games in the world and no two are exactly the same. I’m grateful that the creativity of board game creators has led to my biggest hobby and a way for me to continually spend time with my family.

Today was a busy day so I’m going to keep this thankful thought short. Thrift stores are my jam. I love being able to get a pair of pants for less than $20 and shirts for under $10. I love that I can get toys for my babies at work and I don’t have to go bankrupt. I’ve found Christmas gifts, furniture, kitchen items, winter gear, and more at thrift stores. So today I’m thankful I am able to shop at thrift stores. I have very few things in my life that are brand new and because of that I’ve been able to stick to my budget and save a ton of money over the years.

When I turned 10 years old, my cousin Tara talked my parents into letting me get my ears pierced. I remember being in some random mall somewhere and going into Claire’s where all my dreams came true. When my parents decided they were going to move to Montana, my mom started to want to add more bling to her look. To pass on the tradition of getting piercings on decade birthdays, my mom and I went to Claire’s on her 50th birthday and got her ears pierced. Today I was thankful that my mom and I both have pierced ears.

I know that’s a pretty weird thing to be thankful for so let me explain. Today is Black Friday and my parents and I sat in the office at the Villa doing some online shopping for Christmas. My mom said she wanted some dangle earring with color so I went to work scrolling through page after page on Amazon. Since I wasn’t sure exactly what she wanted, I had her sit on the floor with me and look through all the earrings. I had so much fun “oohing” and “ahhing” over the pretty ones and laughing at the tacky ones. It was something really small, but I felt like it brought us together. It’s fun when my mom and I are together and end up wearing the same earrings (we have the same ones in different colors) or when we ask each other which ones will compliment what we’re wearing. Being in a relationship means making hundreds of small connections and having hundreds of small moments and I’m glad I had one of those connections and moments with my mom today.

On a day like Thanksgiving, I feel like I should be thankful for things like my family, my friends, my life, etc. I am grateful for all of that, but today I’m most grateful for food!

My mom and I spent about 3 hours getting all of our dishes ready for linner (we ate at 2) and it was all amazing. Kaitlyn did the turkey and it was so flavorful. We had mashed potatoes, mac n cheese, broccoli salad, green bean casserole, gravy, stuffing, and rolls. And of course we had pumpkin pie, apple crisp, and homemade ice cream. I try to control my portion sizes in everyday life, but today is the one day a year I can stuff myself guilt-free! Food is something that gives me joy in life and I’m grateful for the opportunity to celebrate that today.

Growing up with brothers is not always happy fun times, but it’s pretty fun to live close to both my brothers now. I love my brothers equally and get along quite well with both of them, but Zacky has always been my (not so) little buddy. Today I’m grateful for the past few months I’ve had with my little bro.

For a few months, Zack worked up north near where I live so he would stay over Monday nights so he wouldn’t need to drive down to Provo at night only to drive back up in the morning. I had so much fun doing dinner, chatting, and watching tv shows with him. He’s a pretty social person and likes to spend most of his free time hanging with the boys so I don’t see him that often. I have loved having that one night a week where he has to come hang out with me. I’m sad he switched jobs but I’m so glad I had that bit of time to spend time with him. We didn’t actually take any pictures when we hung out, but here are some of my favorite pics of him and us.

For the past few days my parents have been in Missouri with my grandparents. Tonight I picked them up from the airport and drove us all down to Orem. Being able to do that is just one example of why I’m so grateful for my car.

I bought my car from my parents when I went back to college after my mission in 2019. She’s a 2004 Honda Accord and has been fantastic. Because she’s old, we’ve definitely had some problems and there are times when I don’t appreciate her because I have to spend $450 to fix the ignition switch or her tire blows out in the middle of nowhere Montana, but we’ve made it through. I’ve been able to get groceries in the middle of winter, drive to visit my parents and Hannah when I’ve wanted to, and commute to a job that’s 40 minutes away. I can drive through the mountains with the windows down and music up when I need to clear my head and get away from the city. I’ve made 11pm ice cream runs and 6am grocery trips without having to worry about creepy people on public transportation. Having my car has given me freedom I didn’t even know I needed. We’ve been through a lot, the Fire Queen and I, and I’m thankful she’s in my life.

Mondays are days built for comfy clothes, crazy hair, and no makeup. I’m so glad that I have a job that lets me come to work just like that. When you’re working with little kids, especially ones between 12 and 18 months, it seems pointless sometimes to dress up nice. I’m more about comfort than style so that totally works for me. But that’s not what I’m grateful for today. Today I’m grateful for my super comfy leggings.

I have a specific brand and style of leggings that I absolutely love. I literally bought 3 pairs I love them so much. They come up pretty high, which means I don’t have to worry about them rolling down my love handles uncomfortably and they help tuck in all the fluff. They have side pockets, which are the absolute best pockets because you don’t have to worry about having to sit on what’s in your pockets. They are also incredibly soft and stretchy. Having comfortable pants seems like a small thing, but all day comfort is something I will always be grateful for.

Today’s thankful thought is a little dark, but I really felt it today and I think not expressing it wouldn’t be true to how I was feeling. I’ve never been diagnosed with depression and I don’t think I have it consistently, but I definitely have moments of depression. As I mentioned in a previous post, there are days when I just wake up not feeling like doing life and today was one of those days. However, today I’m thankful my belief that this life isn’t the end is so engrained inside of me.

When I’m in a bad depressive episode, my thoughts sometimes scare me. Thoughts like “I hope I get into a horrible accident so I don’t have to do life” or “I really wish I could go to sleep and never wake up”. I don’t have fully formed suicide thoughts and I don’t plan out ways to kill myself, but my thoughts can sometimes be in the realm of suicide ideation. I’ve only shared these thoughts with someone one time and it didn’t go well so I keep them locked away. Part of the reason I don’t tell anyone is because of that experience, but also because I know I will never do something to end my life so I don’t want to worry anyone. No one can fix this for me anyways. I know I will never kill myself with 100% certainty because I believe there is a life after this one. If I ended my life now, I would go to the next life without having fully lived out my potential. That would just bring more suffering and guilt to my soul, not relief from the pain. I would feel regret for not pushing through the suffering and seeing the rest of the amazing things in store for me. God has a plan for me and that doesn’t involve me killing myself in my 20s. The belief that there is a life after this one is something I have never questioned. I know that this life isn’t the end and I have Heavenly Parents and a loving Savior that will meet me on the other side. If that knowledge wasn’t engrained in my soul the way it is, I’m not sure what would happen. Like I said, my depressive episodes usually aren’t long or lasting, but they can be very very dark. I know people who struggle with diagnosed major depression who don’t have the same beliefs that I do and I’ve seen how hard they have to fight those thoughts to stay in this life. Dark days are real and horrible and challenging. I’m so grateful I was blessed with the knowledge I have so that I can have a glimmer of light to hold onto during my darkest days.

Who would we be without our memories? Do we become different people if we don’t have any recollection of what has happened in our past? We obviously can’t remember everything that has ever happened to us, but our brains hold on to specific moments. I often wonder what determines what our brains retain and what is deemed unnecessary. I’m grateful today for the fun, random memories that pop up unexpectedly.

My parents were in town a few days ago and they brought me a few ornaments to put on my new Christmas tree. I was putting my tree up today and saw one of the ornaments they gave me was one lovingly nicknamed “Stripper Santa”. As I was putting it up, the memory of how he came to be played in my mind. I don’t remember a lot of it, just bits and pieces. There was a year or two when I was in middle/high school that we bought paint-your-own ornaments from the craft store. One day we had invited Hannah and Suzzanne over to paint a few with us. I was doing one that had Santa on a star and decided to paint the star behind him a sparkly, bright purple. When I had finished, Suzzanne said he looked like a stripper because of the garish star color and all the glitter. That was such a tiny moment in my life, but I laugh every year when I put up Stripper Santa on the tree. I’m so thankful that memory stuck and is able to still bring me joy 11 years later.