Why does the society we live in cater to night owls and not early birds? If there is one thing I am 100% certain I am not it’s a night owl. It’s not even 9pm as I’m writing this post and I’m doing it in my bed, planning on going to sleep as soon as I’m done. The other day I was talking to my mom, who is a fellow early-nighter, about what an amazing feeling it is to go to bed and how it’s something we look forward to all day. And not being a night owl means I’m an early bird (although, like the chicken and the egg, I’m not sure which causes the other). Regardless, my alarm goes off just after 5 every morning and it’s usually easy for me to get up and get moving. I have a lot more energy in the mornings which means that’s the best time for me to check things off my to-do list. Unfortunately, I can’t get everything done that I want to because, unlike me, businesses are night owls not early birds. There are many places that stay open until 11 or 12 at night, but very few that open before 8 or 9am. That creates a problem for me as I’m trying to get things done in the mornings, but have to be at work by 8. Enter what I’m thankful for today: Winco.

If you know me, you’ll know that I love WinCo. It’s a grocery store that has really low prices, a bulk food section, and locations everywhere I’ve lived in Utah. But the thing about it I was most thankful for today is that it’s open 24/7. The thought of going grocery shopping after work made me feel tired so I wanted to go before work and get it done. So there I was, on my way to the grocery store before 6am. I was able to get everything I needed and was back before 7, giving me enough time to turn on a show while I ate my breakfast. I drove straight home from work today a happy happy woman because of the wonderful people who decided Winco should be 24/7.

You know when you tell little kids to “say cheese” for a picture and they give a super exaggerated smile that looks goofy but cute at the same time? That’s what I’m thankful for today.

One of the babies in my class has this perfectly round face and when he gives the cheesy smile it is so freaking cute. Today Bre and I were trying to keep all the kids happy at the end of the day so she was having them cheese and trying to get pictures. All of the kids gave cute smiles, but Aidan, my baby with the perfectly round face, had the cutest one. That cheesy smile just made me feel so light and happy. His family is going to move at the end of the month, which is going to be hard for me. I’ve spent 8 hours a day with him for the last 8 months. As a teacher you aren’t really supposed to have favorites, but I have three that have a special place in my heart. Aidan is one of those three. I’m glad I’ll have pictures like this one even after he’s gone. Taking the pictures of Aidan today also reminded me to enjoy the moments I’m in and laugh at all the cheesy smiles because they aren’t going to last forever.

Today I am so glad to have a sense of humor.

The phrasing of that sounds weird, so let me explain. I was feeling very blah after dinner today and just wanted to watch something for a little bit before bed. There’s not really anything new to watch, so I started skipping through a kdrama I’ve watched in the past. Within minutes I was laughing because I think it’s hilarious. Watching something that made me laugh completely changed my evening. I think a lot of life can feel very blah. We typically do the same things everyday in roughly the same order for weeks and months and years on end. We can add stuff into our days that make them feel less monotonous and there are some big life changes that mix things up, but the overall flow we have doesn’t vary too much. If we didn’t have things to laugh at or laugh about, life would be so boring. There’s something different with feeling happy and feeling like laughing. Happy is good, but laughter really is food for the soul. When I have things that make me laugh in my life it makes it easier to get through the monotony and, even more, enjoy it.

At work, when the weather is nice, I take the babies outside in the mornings. It’s a nice break from being in the same room all day and the kids absolutely love it. Today while we were outside I found myself being thankful for the beautiful weather.

I absolutely love fall. I love the smell in the air, the way the leaves turn beautiful colors, and how you can cozy up in warm clothes but you aren’t freezing. Today there were a lot of clouds in the sky and it was overcast so I was worried it would be chilly. Instead it was the perfect temperature in which I was able to wear leggings and a sweatshirt, the coziest clothing combination, and be wonderfully comfortable. Even though that smell of fall is gone, it still smelled amazing. It’s hard to describe the smell, but it smelled fresh. There was a soft breeze that was neither hot nor cold that added the perfect touch. I love having moving air on me and usually at this time of year any breeze is chilly, but today it was perfect. What I’ve explained seems inadequate to describe what the experience was like, but I can’t find the words to express exactly how it felt. All I know is that while we were outside I felt so peaceful and still. I could have stayed there all day and been happy. In the world today it is hard to find peaceful and still moments, but I was given the small gift of that today.

While I was in college I moved six times. The longest I ever stayed in one place was a little over a year and the shortest was 3 months, with the others being somewhere in between. I liked my apartments for the most part and they were great while I was in school. But I think I moved a lot because I was looking for something. I didn’t find that something until I moved in May to the place I live now. The thing I was looking for was a safe place I could call home. What I am thankful for today is my apartment.

This is the first place I’ve lived by myself, and I think that’s a huge part of why I love it here. I had good roommates, but I felt like I always had to be “turned on” everywhere I went. I couldn’t come home after school or work and just relax because my roommates would have friends over or leave dirty dishes all over the kitchen or be watching a movie so loudly I couldn’t sleep. I wanted a space where I didn’t have to put on a mask. As an introvert, going 6 years without a safe place was extremely tiring. But now I don’t need to wear a mask in my apartment because it is all mine. I don’t have to worry about unexpected guests or dirty dishes taking up space on my kitchen counters. My kitchen, my bathroom, my space to do whatever I want. I can be fully relaxed surrounded by everything me.

But not having roommates isn’t the only thing that makes my apartment home. It’s the perfect size for one person, giving me plenty of room to do everything I need to while still being cozy. The neighbors are quiet, but friendly, and I’ve never had a problem with anyone being disrespectful or loud. I have a covered carport so I get some shade in the summer and don’t have to brush snow off my car in the winter. There’s a loop just a block over from my building that’s the perfect place for me to walk everyday. It’s about a mile long and gives me a gorgeous, unobstructed view of the mountains and three temples. I could go on and on about things I love here. It was very stressful getting this apartment because I had trouble selling my last contract and was afraid I wouldn’t do it in time to get this place. I wondered at times if I should just give up trying to move here and find something different. Thankfully, Heavenly Father knew this was a place that could be my home so He helped me get here. I’m grateful for that every single day.

The sun is the center of our universe, the thing that keeps us alive. It allows us to have eveything on earth that makes it possible for us to be here. But today, that’s not why I’m grateful for it. Today I’m grateful for the sun because it’s warm.

I realized this past summer that one of my favorite feelings in the world is the warm sun on my skin. To just sit outside and feel the heat makes me so happy. As winter gets closer and the temperature starts to drop, it’s harder to feel that warmth of the sun. Today while I was driving however, it was warm enough that I could feel the heat of the sun coming through the windshield and onto my arms and face, wrapping around me like a heated blanket. It felt like a heavenly hug just for me.

I get stressed about a lot of things in life, but there are a few things I get stressed about a lot more than others. Constant, big life stressors that I feel almost everyday. One of those stressors is finances. I am always worried about money. Can I afford to do or buy the things I want? Have I spent too much on Amazon or eating out? If I have to buy presents for Christmas soon I should probably not buy things for myself this month, right? Every day I question if I’m making smart financial decisions or just slowly going broke. Thankfully, there are some little things that help take the stress off for a moment. So my thankful thought of the day is . . . coupons.

The last two hours of work today lasted about five years. It felt like I would never leave and all I wanted for those two hours was to be able to relax without children needing my attention. When I finally did leave, I was exhausted and really wanted some strawberry ice cream. But was getting a blizzard worth the money? Sigh, probably not. I started to drive back home, feeling disappointed, when I thought to check my DQ app and see if there were any deals going on. I opened the app, clicked on the “deals” tab, and heard the angel choir sing. There it was. The thing that would change the rest of my day. The $1 off any sized blizzard coupon.

Now $1 doesn’t really get you anything in life, but when you stress about money the way I do getting a blizzard for $3 instead of $4 seems huge. I got my Choco Dipped Strawberry blizzard and was able to eat it guilt free. It seems silly to call something this small a blessing, but to me it was. God didn’t care that I got $1 off my blizzard, but He did care that I had a long day and wanted to eat something that made me happy. He knows the things I stress about and finds small ways to relieve that stress. Because that’s what you do for people you love.

At work I control four 12-18 month old children, three of whom are boys. They’re the cutest things and I absolutely love my job, but they can also be a struggle. My two oldest boys have been drinking the Kool-Aid or something recently because they have been over the top aggressive, whiny, and attention seeking. Most days I don’t even know what to do with them. No matter how much you love kids, there’s only so much crying and hitting you can take. After almost 3 weeks of this I feel like I have to put in a lot of work to stay calm and not get frustrated with them all the time. My last hour on shift today was definitely a struggle and I had stuff to do so I left the kids to their own devices. I was still watching them, obviously, but my bucket was empty and I didn’t have the loving attention to give them that they needed. So this leads me to what I am grateful for today: my coworker Bre.

She works with the toddlers part-time and helps keep me sane. She’s someone I can talk to during my day who actually talks back in a way that doesn’t require a Urim and Thummim. She’s someone I feel comfortable around so I can just be myself and don’t have to use up all my energy pretending. Today she came in with the toddlers during the last hour and sat with all the kiddos while I finished up prepping for some future crafts. She kept them all laughing and happy and gave them the love and attention I felt like I couldn’t. I feel guilty sometimes when I get overwhelmed and can’t love my babies the way they need to be loved so having her do that for me today was huge. I’ve never had a co-worker be like a friend to me, but Bre feels that way and it’s made all the difference in my time at work.

It’s no secret that I can be kind of a negative person. When I’m talking about my day, I tend to focus on the negative aspects. It’s not like I’m meaning to be a downer, it’s just so easy to remember the things that irritate me. I think part of that comes from living in a world where people try to out-complain each other. It’s never people fighting over who had the best roommate or who’s boyfriend is the sweetest, but rather who drives the jankiest car or who’s job sucks the most. It’s almost like we’re all fighting over some grand prize for who has to live the worst life, yet no one actually wants to have the worst life. I’ve been sucked into this vortex for too long so this is me trying to claw my way into a life boat. That life boat is gratitude.

If I spend more time thinking about all the things I’m grateful for throughout my day instead of all the things that could win me the “Worst Life” award, my thought process will start to change and I’ll become a more positive person (at least that’s the theory). What better month to do that than the month of Thanksgiving. So to start me off, here is what I was truly grateful for today: the struggles I’ve had with going to church.

I was recently called to be a ward missionary and a big part of what we do is visit less active members to see where they stand with the church and what they want to do in regards to the ward. Some of them aren’t interested at all, some of them just don’t know what’s going on, and some of them want to come but are just having a hard time getting started. This last group is one I feel like I could really help. I struggle with YSA wards and this one in particular (having an ex in the ward just makes things that much more stressful) and have only recently started going to my ward the past 2 weeks (whoop whoop!). I know what it’s like to want to be involved, but have a lot of anxiety about getting started. For me it was hard not knowing anyone, feeling like an outsider, and not wanting to go to everything alone. Because I know what that feels like I know where to start helping others that feel that same way. I can relate to them in a way other ward missionaries might not be able to because church has always been easy for them. The girl we visited today seemed to be a lot like me in many ways and because of what I’ve experienced, I feel like I have a better understanding of how to help her. God didn’t give me the trial of what had led me to be less active in my ward, I made the choices that led to that all on my own, but He is using my experience as a tool to help His other children who are going through what I went through. He is drawing light out of the darkness in the way only He can.